THE EPILOGUE

Chhavi Agrawal
7 min readJun 12, 2021

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Hello Beautiful People :)

So here is the last post of this series…

It has now been exactly a month (when I was hospitalised) that I established this vulnerable little virtual space — to share my stories, musings, struggles and updates, while being isolated in the hospital for the treatment of a multifold complicated case…

And, now that I am out of this storm, safely back at the shore, rebuidling myself slowly, I want to thank you all for staying with me through this one of a kind journey and helping me come out of it, safe and sound, with all your constant support, love and prayers.

And hence, this epilogue to provide a proper closure for this chapter.
(though I do still plan to come back here, once in a while, to share other stories of my life)

LATEST HEALTH CHECK

  • Had my first doctor’s visit yesterday, since I got discharged, and I think it went really well.
  • Steroids will be stopped in 12 days; blood tests came back normal
  • The Chest X-Ray still showed some shadows, but the doctor said its expected and the lungs will still take 2–3 weeks to heal properly. He has also added a medicine to prevent lung scarring.
  • I am almost off-oxygen support and hence got a go ahead to slowly start working on regaining my limbic strength back without doing much exertion (may have to start with physiotherapy)
  • Allowed to do simple breathing exercises as well to expedite lung recovery
  • Overall, 4–5 weeks is the estimate i got for a decent and proper recovery
  • Next review in 10 days, with additional blood tests and x-rays

A GLIMPSE DOWN THE ROAD…

  • 1. The Unexpected Hosptalization — It was on 11th of May when I had to be suddenly rushed to the hospital, even considering ICU, as my condition had unexpectedly worsened from a hitherto recovered Covid patient, to someone in need of urgent medical support. [On 21st of April I had developed my first symptom i.e. a fever, of what looked like a mild case of covid, and had even recovered within less than 10 days].

And that is how before anyone could process anything, there I was trapped in isolation, not knowing for how long, all by myself, fighting a battle I did not know anything about… just taking it one day at a time

Suddenly was dependent on external oxygen (15 LPM)
  • 2. The Unforeseen Complications — The storm had only started, and though my family was insulating me from my test scary results, that they all were alarmed at, I knew things were going downhill. My condition only started to worsen, not only due to Covid, but also because of my rare (~1 in a billion) medical history with one off case of Wegener’s Granulomatosis, and no one really knew what direction it will take next. Lung Inflammation due to covid was sky high, the body was not able to develop antibodies, plasma therapy also did not work as expected, and to complicate everything more terribly, left lung became punctured, near the heart, bursting an air bubble, making everything even more delicate (read here). So now, not just the “Covid” doctors, but I was being looked at by the Cardiac team, the Chest team, and my usual Nephro team of doctors.
  • 3. The Unstable Care Environment — On top of these complications, unfortunately, due to the pandemic, the care environment was highly unstable. Each time the hospital converted a covid area to non covid, all “positive” patients used to be haphazardly re-allocated to any next available “isolated” room. My room was changed more than 7 times in 25 days, which means each time I had to get re adjusted to a new floor layout, new room arrangement, new staff relationships, new nurses, new floor response times, and even new teams of doctors. (According to me, each room change had appx pushed my recovery back by a day each time)
  • 4. Learning to Handle Trauma — Changing rooms also meant changing roommates, and unfortunately, I got to witness dying roommates as well (witnessed 3 roommate deaths). The 4th room change was because both my roomates (unrelated to each other) died within 4 hours of each other. Not just that, the family members of the latter lady, had managed to come see her last remains and the farewell episode had continued for a good 4+ hours, with only a thin curtain separating me from them. I naturally got used to such scenes as they started becoming more common place, and I focused on meditating which really helped me stay inwards and maintain my mindlfulness.
The Death Room
  • 5. Building Relationships — I as a person cannot function without building personal relationships with people around me, and I was so grateful to have found such warm loving caring staff on some of the floors. I made friends with a group of 3 ladies who really took care of me like their child, and checked on me day and night and even briught handmade food for me. God bless those people who really accelerated my psychological recovery through their warmth and care.
Inked a PPE — Smile Please
  • 6. Setting up Anchors and Bliss Stations — As my personal coping and recovery strategy, I started setting up my mini-anchors, which brought a sense of stability amidst the constantly changing chaotic environment outside. Writing this blog, daily without fail was the biggest anchor, which really kept me engaged and involved. Other small ones were like my morning routine of tea, personal hygiene, etc.
  • 7. Meditation, Mindfullness, and Music — The one thing that really kept me going was turning inwards and mainting inenr peace. I had very conscously cut myself off from all news, social media, chitter chatter, to just be able to focus on what what is going on within, how can I heal myself by understaning what was going on within. Regular meditations helped me sail through those sleepless nights, Music helped me change the vibrations of the room and maintain a meditative state throughout. It was really a feast to be with oneself, amidst such a chaotic environment, giving yourself company :) is the least we can do! I really enjoyed my time off with myself…brought me so much closer to self.
  • 8 . Heart Rate Drop & Sleepless Nights — The next major complication that had followed the lung puncture was the sudden heart rate drops (below 40bpm!) the moment I started slipping into deep slumber. This resulted in several sleepless nights, which further aggravated my physical state of the body, slowing down recovery (meditations really helped me get through those but were still barely enough for physical restoration).
  • 9. Blessing in disguise:hiring the Nigh Attendant — The heart rate drop problem, made us hire a night attendant, who eventually turned out to be a turning point in my recovery. She helped me come off oxygen systematically, helped me gain my limb strength back by gentle massages, assisted me in standing and taking small steps and eventually saw me get a surprise discharge!
Safina Di — The one who helped me recover
  • 10. Crazy FAMILY’s CONSTANT SUPPORT (and surpirses) — My constant support system was my family, tirelessly working day and night to ensure my proper recovery, coordinating the night attendant, replenishing my room supplies, sending surprises for me, and managing all my needs, random rants as well. I feel so blessed to have such a loving family ❤
Family Supripse Visits (10–15mins allowance)

The Road to Recovery

  • As I close this blog thread today, I am working on setting up new anchors for the upcoming 4–5 weeks recovery time…
  • ART — Started doodling, painting and illustrating. Even starting a 30 day challenge for myself to share a doodle/painting each day
  • READING — Will pick up some books and resume reading during this time
  • MUSIC & MEDITATIONS — Almost inclucalted this anchor in daily routine. Once I feel comfortable, I will pick up my Uke or some new instrument, and start with riyaz too! Cannot wait for that!
  • PHYSICAL FITNESS— Yoga, pranayam, physiotherapy and a good diet will be the utmost priority for the coming month
A Watercolor Doodle

Signing off for now :)

Thank you so much for being a part of this journey!

Love you all ❤

Chhavi

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Chhavi Agrawal
Chhavi Agrawal

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