How are we planning to arrive at our own wedding vows?

S2E04 — 7 days to #chhabhi

Hello beautiful people :)

As you already know by now, we are not going with the conventional Hindu wedding because we wanted to opt for something with which we could personaly connect and resonate, and thus there will be no phere, saat-vachan, sindoor/mangalsutra, kanyadaan, vidaai etc. Instead, we are planning to have a court-marriage, followed by a “games-night” with cousins and a “reception” with family and close relatives. The whole idea being, to enter into this new chapter of life, with joy, lightness, music, and lots of stress-free fun.

Something was missing…

However, we still wanted to hold some kind of a ceremony to help us consciously step into this commitment together, preserving those moments in a creative manner, with utmost awareness while rooting our energies in our shared values & beliefs.

And that is how, a few days back, we both decided that we would like to have a vows’ ceremony, not during the wedding (as it’s only going to be a ~10 min administrative process), but during the reception where all our family members and close relatives will be present.

Abhishek found a beautiful venture “Conscious Connections” run by Sonal and Arti, from his network, who will be helping us conduct a personalized and conscious vows ceremony.

What did it take?

At first, the idea of coming up with our own vows, that too within a few days, seemed utterly impossible to me — How will be identify them? Will there be theme? What if I am unable to deliver? What if we miss out on some key aspect? — all sorts of doubts started flooding my head.

But thankfully, the Conscious Connections’ team had a nice framework to help us address these concerns. Though they bombarded both of us with a lot of homework, including reading, writing, introspecting and brainstorming, weboth did not mind putting in that effort as it was totally worth it.

And that is how, we ended up spending a few hours today, reflecting on key aspects of our relationship, by answering certain questions that helped us identify key themes that were important to both of us, and somehow, magically, the vows started appearing towards the end of these discussions, and within no time (well, actually a lot of time and effort) we had a first, rough draft of our vows.

Now we only have to word them properly and concisely and rest everything else will be taken care of by Sonal and Arti.

What did it feel like?

While we were brainstorming about what matters to both of us, what are we both willing to commit to each other and this relationship, why is this important, what are our fears, how are we planning to stay put when things might not go so well, etc., there was a strong vibe or energy that engulfed both of us making us feel emotionally overwhelmed, but definitely in a happy & grateful manner. We felt so heavy, yet light; so scared, yet determined.

And that is how we both knew, we had hit home…

Even though it will still take a few hours worth of work to finalize these vows, we believe it will totally be worth it as it would serve as a beautiful, self-crafted, foundational framework for us to base our marriage on, to which we can always fall-back, whenever in doubt. And this is exactly the type of mindfullness and personalization we wanted to have for our wedding, so that we commit to something we actually believe in.

Closing Thoughts

We might probably share the vows with you all later, once they get finalized, as it might help someone in future (we ourselves did a lot of reading which was a huge help in this process and thus want to contribute back as well).

With this, I will close for today, with a heart full of love & hope, and a mind free of stress and fear ❤

Love,
Chhavi